What am I?

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What am I?

In High school, I wanted nothing more than to be a writer and/or photographer. I didn’t have plans to get married or have children seeing as my parents got divorced before I started my senior year of high school. I was afraid my husband would leave me and I never wanted my children to deal with the hurt my brothers and I dealt with. I also didn’t want to live anywhere near my high school. I wanted to travel. Joining the military hadn’t crossed my mind seeing as how I had no real guidance as far as my future was concerned. I had no idea that in my Senior year I would realize I had no future.  I want to make sure to say that I blame no one person and except that my life had to go the way it did in order for me to get where I am. I also want to say that I think about my children’s future often and plan to help them achieve what they hope for their future. Whether I get a priest or priests, nun or nuns, or just great Catholic Moms and Dads I will be proud of them.

Alright so back to the point of this post. It wasn’t that long ago I was lost as to where my life was going and if I could be happy. I am not one of those people that excepts things easily so this was a really tough time for me. How I had even found such a wonderful, understanding, forgiving man still to this day amazes me. I will never believe I truly deserve him. I am so thankful that I have him and that he came into my life when he did. I have 6 kids. 6. Some days it’s still hard for me to comprehend. How did I make it from 1 to 6. Some days I wonder if it’s too many. My mind is quickly changed when I see Baby Kermit scrunch up his nose and smile, Anytime the kids tell me I’m the best mom or they love me or a much needed cuddling from my sweet buddy Pooh. God knew exactly what I had been praying for and needed in my life. He knew I needed a man to love me just the way I am and lots of people to love. So I except this part of my life because God thinks I deserve them so I must. 

So what else is there to my life? Am I just here to love and serve my family? It just didn’t feel right. I wondered if Homeschooling was really what I should be doing or if I would be better off trying out a job . How can I feel like I am more than just a mom. I am reminded from time to time that I really truly love homeschooling. Yes, we have bad days but they never change how happy I am that  we homeschool. But is there more to me than a homeschool mom. Well, I’m Catholic. What does that mean to me. That means I help, love, and share what I can with whomever I can. That means I become more selfless. It means I believe God is in control of my life. I am nowhere near as good at this as I would like. I am still on a long journey to be who God fully intends me to be. All I can do is try.
  I am an Air Force Wife, a sister, an Aunt, a friend, a cheerleader, and a writer. I am a Catholic Homeschool Mom. Each of these makes me who I am. They play an important role in why I am so proud to be me. They help me to know that I am loved, important, and the things I do matter. All of these things give me a purpose in life. They make me happy to do what I do everyday.  I love being me.
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