Reality Vs perfect picture

Hello All! At some point I had plan to get back to this blog thing but I just haven’t felt inspired to write anything until today. Some people may not understand this but I never want anyone to think my life is perfect or that I haven’t worked or still need to work on things. I strive to be a realistic example of life. I guess here’s where I spill the tea as some would say lol

It has been a hard couple of years. I am a homeschool mom of 4 and 2 that now attend public school. I wish I could really explain how hard that decision was. It was a long time coming I guess. The story behind it is well I’m sick from time to time with nothing that can really be done to resolve it. Duke and Bubbles were giving me alot of trouble with school from the very beginning. They didn’t want to do school or acted as though they didnt know how. It was alot of fighting. More than I cared or had the energy to do. My energy levels seem worse and that made it harder to deal with the two of them. A friend even tried to help me out by taking them to do school at her house but I figured out they just wrote in wrong answers or cheated. It wasn’t the solution either.

After alot of tears on my part and praying so hard I cried more, God told me very firmly that I can’t protect them from everything and that if I love them I have to let them out into the world. I can’t express how strongly I had been avoiding this message. How huge a message knowing that you can’t protect your children from the world even though in the depth of your being that’s all you have ever wanted to do.  I had to fully trust God and the people who now are an everyday part of my two difficult but wonderful kiddos lives. Some days are easier than others but I love them so much that I know that God will keep them safe. He has such huge plans for the boy who wants to be a lizard scientist and a priest and the girl who wants to cure diseases like cancer.

Yes, I am fighting the long battle with my Graves Disease as well. I had Radio Active Iodine to kill my thyroid in November. In January, I had labs that confirmed my thyroid levels were all normal. Well, today I can tell you they aren’t. It’s hard to explain but after the ups and downs over the past couple of years I know when my levels are low. What does that mean? Well I’m hoping that means I will get on meds that I will be on for the rest of my life soon.  Yes, the rest of my life.

There is no cure for Graves Disease or any other thyroid disease. So that means doctors have figured out treatments that are suppose to mean a better quality of life. That better quality of life is what my goal is. It’s no fun being 34 and taking a higher dose of blood pressure medication than your mom. As well as being on the same dosage or Vitamin D as your Gram. What I am trying to say is I am a 34 year old woman stuck in the body of someone much older. Some days its harder than others to keep going but seeing how much my kids need me and knowing that so many are praying for me makes me push myself.

We have no money. Well, we have money but it’s for groceries and bills. We have no extra money. So it’s not that we are bad with money or that we are big spenders. First off living in DC really put a strain on things. Anything and everything there is alot pricer than normal and we are feeling it. The other huge burden  is a house we own in Oklahoma. We decided in Early 2018 that we would finally have the opportunity to put the house up for sale. We have had some amazing family members help us pay to get the house ready as well as help with Christmas money this year. We are very blessed to have such generous and loving people in our lives.

The house was put on the market in June 2018. We have had two deals fall through because of the buyers issues with getting financing. The worst is being 2-3 days out from closing to find out we have to put the house back on the market. I do fully believe we will sell the house, I’m just not sure when. The problem with this is that we are paying rent here and paying the mortgage there. We aren’t sure when we will sell the house so we are trying to put money in reserve to pay the house payment until the end of the year if we have to. It’s really important to keep our good credit especially since George will be retiring from the Air Force in a couple of years. We obviously need him to be able to get the best job he can and having good credit is part of that.

Those are the big things affecting our lives right now. We are saving where we can and spending alot more time at home. We have started a Boardgame Meet once a month and I’m constantly looking for free events. We still make biweekly if not weekly trips to our local library. We are happy to have nice weather when it comes and have been finding  more time for friends. We are stressed, we do have bad days but life is good. Please continue to pray for us on our adventure called life.

 

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